Toward the End of "Yeah, But..."

I’m not very good at obeying James 1:19. “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” My wife will open up to me. She’ll pour out her heart, really make herself vulnerable. And instead of listening intently, I’ll be formulating my response in my head. I’ll be all ready to reply when she stops talking. 

Often, I’ll even interrupt. I’ll get defensive, even angry. I’ll put her in her place. I’ll let her know how she’s wrong. I’ll offer a quick and easy solution. And she’s not heard, not understood. Not at all. Let’s just say it doesn’t work toward oneness when I do. When she opens up, and I say, “Yeah, but…” 

“Yeah, but have you thought about this?” “Yeah, but here’s what you should do.” “Yeah, but you’re not understanding me.” We do this all the time. In our closest relationships. With our brothers and sisters in Christ. And we are definitely doing this with our black and brown siblings today.

We do the opposite of what James says. We are slow to hear. We are quick to speak. We are quick to anger. We stifle the voices of those made in the image of God - of those redeemed as part of the people of God. We don’t empathize. We don’t understand. We won’t listen.

Yes, you’re right. The Bible says to speak the truth in love. You say also that we’re to call out sin. True, as well. But maybe we should spend some time listening first. Yes, truth is absolute. It’s objective. We have to dig for it. Yes, sin is real and destructive. It’s at root of everything. We have to fight against it. But maybe we’re the ones not seeing the truth clearly. Maybe our ability to hear has been affected by our sin. 

Perhaps we’re trying to look through a 2 x 4 jammed in our eye. And we need the surgical skills of our sisters and brothers. Perhaps we’re the ones that need to listen - and not them. Maybe we’ll find ourselves to be the ones needing help. And yes, I’m talking mainly to my white brothers and sisters here.

You see, we need God’s grace - often given through others - to help us see. Maybe sin goes deeper in us than we realize. Maybe it affects far more around us than we think. Our hearts, yes. The hearts of all people. But even the very systems and structures our hearts have made - and have in turn been used to also shape our sinful hearts.

Our black brothers and sisters among us have been crying out over injustice for hundreds of years. And they haven’t been heard. White Christians, we may need to be quiet - dare I say, shut up - and for a while. 

Ask most disciples of Jesus how to summarize the Christian life, and they’d say, with Jesus, “Love your Lord God, love your neighbor.” Right? But where does that love start? Is there anything more basic to loving a person than listening to them? Fleming Rutledge has said, "Trying to understand someone else’s predicament lies at the very heart of what it means to be a Christian.” 

“Black lives matter.” “Yeah, but what is that saying about all other lives?”

“These shootings are evil.” “Yeah, but did you hear about why he got arrested?”

“My sons just aren’t safe.” “Yeah, but isn’t it just a matter of keeping the laws?”

“I’m just not on equal footing.” “Yeah, but can’t you still do all the things I can do?”

Those “yeah buts” get us nowhere friends. And they sure don’t bring us together.

Let’s, with God’s help, seek to listen and listen well - “to be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” That’ll make us shine like lights in this dark world. Responding “yeah but,” especially to our black and brown brothers and sisters today, won’t do. It doesn’t move us down the field. We end up losing yardage instead. Let’s love one another, and that starts with listening to the hurts of our brothers and sisters.